Vera…on being happily single

At 30+??? Seriously, is that possible? Are you for real? You’re single at 30 and you’re happy? How can you be happy? What can possibly make you happy? You have no husband and no children- happy ke? You dey craze? [God forbid if a married woman/man over 30 without kids says they are happy or is seen as happy- but dat na story for anoda day]. Let us be honest- those are the thots that go thru our heads when we come across a woman and maybe a man (35+) and are still single. A friend told me about a particular unmarried ladyX who was in her late 30’s. So, a young female Church member did her marriage thanksgiving and ladyX danced and rejoiced with the new bride- only for womanN (N for nasty- lol!) to pull her aside and tell/ask her (in Yoruba), “what is making you happy? What are you dancing for? The child inside you (a Yoruba saying) is getting married and you’re dancing?” When I heard this, I was hurt. I was furious. I mean I don’t get it- why do we Nigerians open our mouths and chat such insensitive smack? Where/how do we feel we have the rights to talk stupid like that? In fact I think such comments are from the evil and spitefulness that resides in us. After all, the heart of man is desperately wicked. I don’t put such comments down to ignorance. We’re not even going to go to the stigma associated with being a single parent. one would think single parents or an unmarried person with kids have a contagious desease. Children are a blessing from God. But also, i know such situations are relative.

When it comes to delay in child bearing- I won't deny that it’s a very sensitive topic to me- tho I’m not trying to for a baby. But it reminds me of a friend of mine (before she had her baby) who was in a Church service when some lady decided to put her new born baby in my friends lap and say, “baby, tell aunty- it is well- her own will soon come”. WTF?!!!!! Another instance, I fell out with a fellow worker in church- it was mother’s day and my Church celebrates all women by giving them gifts. But this worker decided to run his mouth without thinking and said he doesn’t see why he should wish the women without kids Happy Mother’s Day….and there was a married woman (40+) in our mist who we knew was still waiting on God for a child. I mean, come on!!! Let us be sensitive to people around us.

Anyway, I digress…………but next week Saturday (August 22nd), Vera will be doing a show about women who are 30, accomplished, and single and needs a co-host. But for some reason she’s unable to get an actual co-host. Her single 30 year old female friends have disappeared from the virtual world and some are shocked that they are still single. Shocked? That’s understandable, but as Vera said, dem suppose come out of their shock. Plenty plenty babes wey done pass 30 dey single. Ko si big deal- nah? Lol!! If you fall in the category- please check out her website for more details by clicking her name or emailing radio@verastic.com or calling 1-443-934-9039.

So why is being single at a certain age seen as a shameful thing? Why is it seen as sad case? Why is it seen as a situation that needs God’s intervention/ serious deliverance? Why is it used to punch someone below the belt? For e.g. a recent blogger made this comment on my recent post where I had mentioned my flatmate is a single 31 yr old girl (please note I turn 30 on the 21st so na only one year the girl take old pass me o):
“…….what’s with you using "31 and single" against her... since when is that a problem? Especially when that is your situation too?”
Against ke? When I read this it puzzled me how that particular statement was misconstrued as a punching line. If I had said 21 and single or 31 and married- would it have been viewed that way? So yes I ask again, why is being single at my age seen as a stigma? With the type of sympathetic look I get, is it something I should be ashamed of? Why can’t people phantom the idea that one can be single at such age and be happy? Is marriage the only way one can be happy? Is it unheard of to be married and unhappy or be single and happy? Cos when I sit back and think, my (lack of) marriage status isn’t what is really weighing me down at the moment. I’ll be high as a kite if I’m able to rent my condo and I get a fantastic job.

For my fellow single bloggers who are unhappy because of their status- do not be misled or mistaken that marriage will make you happy. Though I suggest taking your time and being picky- don’t be too picky o! Cos if as a babe you’re looking for a Tyrese or Will Smith look alike- then you’re on your own. Sorry for you. lol!!! If as a dude you dey look for virgin and u sef no bi virgin- sorry for you. If as a dude you're looking for Halle Berry with a Bible- bigger sorry for you. My suggestion for u is to look for a prayer warrior and take her to Mary Kay or better still to Mac. If you’re looking for a millionaire- I pray you'll find and all the things that come with it. And for the love of God and your own happiness DO NOT fall prey to outside pressure so that your case isn’t like the case of SoloD’s post: tttec-marital pressures can ruin lives. And remember you’re not the only one!!!! Plently plenty hens dey single and norrin do dem. lwkmd!

On a lighter note check out my baidai hair o my peeps. What do you think of my fullhawk? Na early mid life wey dey worry me- nah? Hehehehehe. If you wish to call me on my birthday- you can reach me on 401 285 0701. Hehehehe!!! I'd definitely appreciate it. Actually why wait till then? Holla!!!!

AND YES YOU CAN BE SINGLE AT 30 (or any age) AND BE HAPPY!!!!