My mum told me of a ‘testimony’ of a couple who met and married within 3 months and I thought eeerrrr…….raar!!! Yes for those who might have not experienced it, some folks actually do hit it off (and has nothing to do with sex) instantly. But she (momsie) got me thinking maybe that’s how it works for some people. I mean if both parties are sure of each other within days/weeks of meeting, who are we to condemn them? To each it's own? After all, knowing each other for 5 good years does not guarantee a long lasting marriage. After all, our forefathers (and in some cultures- till now) were/are matched made- and they last. So it got me thinking…………..
How soon is too soon?
What is considered rushing into?
Is there a time frame (a set time) after meeting someone to start a relationship?
How early is too early to fall (be) in love?
36 comments:
Am I first>???
Yayy!!!!!!! I am...LOL
I was discussing with someone about one of the Kardashians that married after three weeks and I said nothing is too soon. I've read of whirlwind courtships of less than a week. I don't know how long the marriages lasted sha.
Me and SO were only talking seriously for about 3 months b4 he proposed. We called my parents, spoke to his and it was on. We were married two months or so later. It's been a long honeymoon since...
It is never too soon, though since people tend to put their best foot forward it is almost impossible to make a good judgment of character in a short space of time. Then again, a long courtship is no guarantee of marital bliss.
Ask me when I was younger and I would have said at least 2 years lol but now I don't know if it's necessarily for me but there is no set time. I have a friend who went from friend to fiance and they didn't officially date all under a year and they are happy. I think also part of the problem is we tend to overthink.
my parents never dated,they are about to celebrate their 25th anniversary and they are very much happy.
well folks were all up in arms shouting its too soon and there has to be a reason when Khloe Kardashian & Lamar Odom got married after 6weeks..but honestly money venture or not I know of peeps who shout out love after a week or so...though m a cynic so i always say it cant be love..its infatuation or lust if they're boning!
Love takes time..you can instantly like some-one & some feel they're the soul mate instantaneously.
So what am i saying its depends and how soon is soon and how long is long enough? to whom and for whom other than the parties involved?
so time is relative...
ps: beefing that m not first..today just wasnt my day with thunder stealers!! aah well tomorrow will be a better day
I dont think it really matters but as long as its not the whole 'elope to vegas' type of thing..thats just erradic...but personally I dont want to 'know' the other person for like 10 yrs then get married...i mean come on wor d heck??!
@ leggy hope to be like ur parents one day...
Lol interesting..
Idk i guess sometimes people just know..
I get really scared about three month testimony's and the like. I had that happen to an aunt of mine and she realised after the wedding day that she was married to a fraudster! I'd think if you're going to be together forever, what's the rush?
I believe that the time line is diff for everyone...I usually would say that a couple should court at least a yr b4 marriage...but hey I've heard about courtships that lasted a few mos that lead to great marriages! So...to each it's own!
to me personally,i dont think u can fall in love with a person just knowing them for three months........you might think its love but i bet u its lust or infatuation...
hmm that's a tough one cos that rule on how you know is not set in stone. You could be with the person for 15 years and he or she is still guaranteed to disappoint. It's all about praying and just living each day. but 3 months is way to soon i think.
This is one of those topic i go back and forth on. On the one hand alot can be said for taking ones time. On the other hand people say when you know, you know. I've heard stories with little or no dating/courting period and they seem to be doing well.
Is it for me? I guess time will tell. Lol.
It depends on the individual. My friend and his wife only knew each other for 2months before they got married and its has been close to 2 years now. They seem happy to me..
Personally i think both parties need more time to know each other, at least a year, but what do i know.
I'm all for Dabizniz's comment.Sometimes u really think you know someone but thats until he puts the ring on it or she wears the ring..whichever way it applies..I think the character of a person isnt somethin anyone should rush to quick judgements about
i think mostly you guys have said it all..it's been known to work but just as i wouldn't do the date for 10 yrs, i wouldn't do the get married in three months.
Still,marriage is so complicated that sometimes these stereotypes do not apply.
long time i was here or even left a comment on any blog!!!!!!!!
Howdy gurl?
MM & i 'met' over d phone, & after abt 2 weeks of telephone conversation, we both informed d closest person to our respective families dat this just might very well be it o! By d time we met 4 d first time face 2 face after a month of talking, d chemistry was just amazing! There was no doubt! He was for getting married earlier, but i felt someone of my temperament needed more time (cos i've been known to have sudden change of mind). All n all, we were married in less dan 1 year. We spoke 4 d first time n feb, did our court wedding n October (trad n november & white wedding n december!). Marriage has been great, better than i envisaged.
Yet, some pple have done d quickie thing & regretted it sha. So, it all depends. My mom strongly believes dat who ends up with a good marriage is a matter of luck, nothing else. Maybe she is right.
to each his own...as long as u follow ur heart and for no other reason u'll be okay
Three months! That's just about the time I move my toothbrush into his place.
TIME.. 3mnths, 1yr, 3yrs wateva time, does nt determine marriage stability. I'l say,its d word of God dat sustains a union.
Depends on the people involved. Usually, the older you are, the less games you will play (or tolerate) and the quicker u make up your mind. Since it takes more than love to make a marriage, I'd say 3 months is too short. If you're going to be together forever, whats the rush?
Marital bliss does not have anything to do with the length of courtship but to play it safe, wait a reasonable time to see the other persons' different moods. And considering u wont be spending every minute of everyday together during the three months, I'd say excluding other factors, give it six months to a year.
P. S. Your mama is trying to get you married, that gist was one of many I heard from my mom when she was determined to have her choosy, eccentric oldest daughter married off.
Me I have time constraint o. It's as follows:
First kiss = Date 3.
First heavy makeout session = Somewhere between date 5 - 8.
"Talking" status = 2 months of steady communication
Officially dating status = 4 months
Exchange of I love you's = 8 months
Engagement = 2 years of steady dating
Marriage = 2.5 years of steady dating
First Sex = wedding night
Lol. Of course I'm kidding. There's no standard time really. I'm a firm believer in anything is possible.
I think what poses the biggest dangers to relationships/marriage is all these so called conventions. If we call it falling in love, why should there be a time limit stamped on it? I thot falling in love was an involuntary action most of us don't have control over.
I could marry a man in 3 months but he has to have certain things and characteristic in place. One has grown and experienced this much to know that there are certain parameters one could use in predicting what the future is likely to hold.
If one is mentally, financially and spiritually ready for marriage I do not see the point of a long courtship. If you have your head screwed on and you're dealing with someone who equally has a good head then you should know what you're doing.
Just my thots.
I agree with Dabizniz and other commenters. There are no guarantees.
Gosh i dunno.
i mean two months? when did u then plan the wedding? first day of meeting?
Guess it depends on the parties involved. i would need a year atleast
Some people date for 10yrs and split up, some date for 10 months and the marriage lasts forever.
So I'd say the time frame is dependent of the 2 humans involved
Personally i believe the minimum of a year and about two years...but there are always exceptions to the rule. The best thing is to know what's right for oneself with the help of God!
Se you have fashied my blog abi?
I don't think there is/should be a time frame for falling in love. As far as I know, it can happen after the first conversation. It has never happened to me, but I think it can happen. When you put a time frame on how long you should date before marriage, I think it makes things too structured. Just go with the flow ...
That said, at my age, I'm not going to go with the flow with a man who wants to date for five years before marriage. Abegi!! He should tell me something else.
...'tis not necessarily about the time duration of knowing one another but, the consciousness of the depth of the descision to 'walk' the rest of the journey with the other.
Hi ya Tigeress...
I can spend a month thinking about what laptop to buy, so I will definitely take my time when we are talking about the father of my children, but I really believe there are no guarantees.
I don't think knowing someone longer necessarily guarantees a stronger marriage, but the important thing is the make sure that you guys are in agreement on those important values, and that your potential partner doesn't have any of your deal breakers or vice versa. That would be the advantage of knowing each other longer: having an opportunity to know each other's habits and stuff in more detail.
Aside from these, everything else can be learned as you go along.
Personally, I don't think I'm wired to go from strangers to married in less than a year or two, but that's me. Even if I knew from day 2 that he was the man for me, I'd make us wait before sealing the deal with marriage.
I definitely think it can work though!
It's never too soon. No time...however, I do believe 1 or 2 mins is too soon. Anything else after that is not too soon.
No different then meeting a friend. You know within 3mins are so if you can hang with that person or not.
MY EXACT SENTIMENTS!!! TO EACH HIS OWN!
Post a Comment