Attention: Sperm Donor Needed!!!

You guys HAVE to read this: 5 Mistakes Women Make - By Ekene Agabu. At least ladies PLEASE read it!!!!

So yes o, I’ve decided to have a baby and am therefore looking for a suitable sperm donor. Anybody interested in being the candidate? But u will be signing disclaimer o. If that’s fine with you, please send your picture and bio to tigeress2much@gmail.com. Also note, I do not have money for any form of artificial insemination so conception will be done the conventional way- which is free of charge for me and might be of pleasure to you. And before I forget, applicants will be screened for STD’s. Remember, this is a business transaction so do not expect any acrobatic moves.
I have been thinking high and low of who the ideal donor can be. Only 2 guys came to mind- Sexy T and FRO. As for SexyT (strong, good looking, tall, smart and sexy) I think I’ll just get him drunk- something tells me dude might try and do 419 for me and withdraw. As for FRO- I think he’ll be open to giving me the designer baby I so much crave for. Lol!!! Speaking of which I read my ‘ori’ post to FRO and since then dude has had his mind in the gutter and our webcam sessions have gotten heated. Ok ok I’m slightly exaggerating but yawl need to get ur mind out of the gutter. But meeeeeeehnnn if I shld catch that boy- with all the nonsense he says to me. Telling me how he won’t be in a rush to……..and will take his time to……………. ‘Putting thots in my head that I’m only able to get out by shaking my head vigorously. If I should catch him!!!!!!

Anyway, asper sperm donor, of course I’m only joking. LMHO!!! I could just imagine the look on the faces of some folks reading this and what might be going thru their heads. I can imagine it’ll be something like, “Aaaaaaaah see this fornicating jezebel child, no wonder she is still single?” LMHO!!!!! My response to them- we will all marry isha Allah! And we will all born pikin(s). Yes, shock will grip you all!!!!!! Ugly bunch of judgmental frackers.

So FFF posted in my Counselor blog that she thot I was like 19 – 24. If she had seen me in person I would have said “thank you, I get that a lot”. But she hasn’t seen my young looking fine sexy self; so it got me thinking……… How many of you folks out there based on my blog thought I was a 19 year old child? My own conclusion was, cld it be becos I am not blogging about a Mr. Tigeress or about how my children are peeing in the park or how my inlaws are being difficult? After all, society does expect one to have settled down by a certain age. After all it is a status thing, nah?
So let me throw this out there- how is a single 29 yr old woman supposed to act and blog and maybe even dress?

Moving on……. I’m the sort of person that I don’t share my worries/issues with people generally. I really don’t see the point- especially if they are folks that can not relate to the situation I’m going thru. I deal with my issues myself. I’ve come to realize that most folks aren’t really concerned about ur well being. A lot of them are just nosey individuals who just want to know what is going on in ur life, find someone to judge, and someone to gist about. My advice, be very very selective with whom you share your burdens and escapades with. That way you won't be getting that Naija “A- yaaa, it is well; God will do it” comments. When I smack their faces- they will come and tell me when I told them God will not do it. lol.

StandTall, one of my favourite peeps- why I want to change my name after marriage? You see dat MRS degree- I go collect am so that I fit put am before my name (e.g. LLB, ACCA, CIMA, Dr., Mrs. Engineer etc). After collecting it- u see all dose small small boys and girls wey no get respect wey go dey open deir mouth just dey miss yarn any how either becos dey sef don marry or becos person (me) no dey carry pikin for back or becos I’m not using a supporter to hold up my wedding ring finger- u see all of them, I will be able to warn them to correct their head and know their audience. I’m Mrs. So-so-so to them not Tigeress or OluTigeress for that matter. Hehehehehe.

Last but not least…..I was having an IM chat with a ‘sort-of’ ex (and a good friend) who is planning on visiting family here later on in the summer…..
Dave: Why do u want get off?
Me: I want to get something to eat.
Dave: Each time we chat you’re either in the kitchen or eating. You know it won’t be nice if you get fat.
Me: Well you have nothing to worry about. Me getting fat shld be of no concern to you. Leave that to my husband to worry about.
Dave: OMD, are u married?
Me: Dude, don’t ask me silly questions- u know the answer to that. Between the last time we spoke and now, how cld I have gotten married?
Dave: phew my heart skipped a bit.
Me: lol!! Why?
Dave: Was hoping that when I come you’ll show me a good time.

AAAAAAHHHHHHH e gba mi eyin ara blogsville!!!! Sey wetin? What can fa? It’s kuku not his fault. I blame myself. What an HIDIOHT!!!! hisssss!

Me: Ehn-hen interesting…..So I’m now the good-time giver, abi?
Dave: eerrrmmm….I didn’t mean it like that
Me: It’s ok. Don’t worry. When you come I shall try my best not to disappoint you. I’ll show u a real good time, nah?
Obvisouly dude new i was being sarcastic cos that shut him the hell up.

My fellow bloggers pardon the randomness and slight feistiness. As you can see I am not exactly a Mary Poppins type of person. If one chats smack around me, they’ll either get ignored or get a smack answer or I’ll simply set them straight.

p.s. I've been posting rather frequently lately, eeemmmm............

On a funny note..... this is hilarious!!!!!

Have a good weekend my peoples!!! No happy sexing from me but happy snogging xxxxx LOL!!!! I hope Shona doesn't kill me. hehehehe