OMD I just wrote literally a whole page using my BB and it all vanished into thin air. My heart is weeping- not even crying. I shall to re-rant. Lol!
Sorry to say this, but Nigerians (based in Naija) have the most messed up mentality ever. One of the things that baffles me the most with my people is their inability to comprehend the concept of charity/voluntary work. There is no business owner I have met that does any charitable deed or sets up a business that would also give back. Rather, my people would watch their friends/neighbours/peers perish as they climb up the ladder. Our power situation and infrastructure is enough to prove this my theory. Yes yes I know not all Nigerian are like that. And yes I know you pay tithes and offering in Church. But who reaps the reward of paying your tithes/offerings? And I'm sorry but building the house of God is NOT a charitable deed to your neighbours, nor being a worker/serving ur pastor- but that na topic for anoda day.
I’ve come to realize that no one does favours/helps here. If someone does you a favour- TRUST ME its becos they expect something in return. And if what is not expected- u face the high chance of being disposed off. And with their subservient mentality, God forbid you don’t lick their behind or turn them into a mini-god. I can’t comprehend why a simple and sincere “thank you” can not suffice. If I’m in a position to help someone, I do not expect them to come back bearing gifts or getting the whole world to thank me on their behalf. Then again, it’s Nigerians that I’ve seen whose thinking is so twisted- everyone is a suspect to them. You are automatically a thief. You are scheming to do jazz to them or to do 419. You are gonna take advantage of them. You are only interested in them becos of their money. You bi ashewo, pigeon, awoof, runs girl etc.
Now one of the things that irks me the most with those that seem to be doing well- is the stench of arrogance that oozes out of them. Mostly from unexposed individuals- I reckon. And their inherent need to talk down at people. I mean for example I’ve had some who are not even up to 15years older than me tell me I’m a young girl/ or I’m still young. WTF?? I’m a 31 year old woman and yet they feel the need to stroke their ego at my expense. I’ve had someone (an agent) tell me a self-contained/mini-flat should fit me!!!! Felt like slapping d shii out of him and telling him dude I had a home- in fact a 2 bedroom flat just about contains me! The worst is when they have the audacity to call me ‘aburo’!!! What the hell??!! How derogatory can they get? Does my name Tigeress not suffice? Or do I look retarded that you need to remind me that u are an old………..??!! Aburo, ba wo ni??!!! Hisss, imagine!!! But u know what? I just gots to pam, na situation bend crayfish back- bah? If sey I be ‘bigs girl’ for Naija standard…….
And then there are subservient mentally retarded guards. Security guards o who refer to me as “that girl” in front of me! But those ones- I’ll put it down to serious lack of exposure and foolishness. I’m sure if I was fat and in the back seat of an X5- they will be prostrating like fools and calling me mummy- even though I won’t make their life better. And that is why they will die a guard- e pe ko. I’ve had a UBA security guard and 2 different ma-guards (where I'm currently squatting) for dat matter- refer to me as girl. E gba me!!! Derogatory of the highest order!!! Maybe I look like their slave, ho, housegirl, or their daughter (they are yet to have). When I become orobo and steal an X5- I’ll go back to them and stick up my middle finger at them. :):):)
How am I finding Nigeria? LOL! I need not say much- sure u can figure it all out. But I am holding on tightly as I struggle not to lose my faith and stay focused. I’ve had a few disappointments (even from friends); and family in the name of knowing what’s best for me- slow me down and make me temporarily lose focus. I’ve come to realize that I’m in this ALONE!! Only God has my back. And when the time comes- only Him will I have to thanks/praises to.
Right now I’m pregnant. Pregnant with big dreams, hopes, and goals. As I’ve said before, to some I have reached rock bottom (and yes I won’t argue that) and there is no way out for me but I shall shock them all. My God shall shock them all- isha allah!
Continue to watch as a fallen soldier rises from ashes to glory. 10months….but I shall stop counting one day.
As for Saint, eemmmm……………... hehehehe!!
23 comments:
1sttt
This post made me laugh. You talk true sha. Show dem jare.
From your rants it shows you are upset about something. I beg to differ an do not agree with most of the things you have said on here. I lived abroad too and I didnt know any Nigerian around me who was involved in charitable work except me and another friend of mine.
In Nigeria I know quite a few people who are involved in charitable work... more than a few actually and they do it without any rewards and I know one of them doesnt believe in tithing.
You have only just returned home, believe me you will adjust. I ranted more than you could ever even imagine but now I am as patriotic as one could never have imagined. I believe a positive mental attitude is what you need. Once you settle in, you'd wonder how you ever lived abroad in the first place. Try and see the best of any situation, then you'd be fine.
One more thing, you should stop depending on people. They will ALWAYS fail.
Cheers.
My dear, we are all in the same shoes. I hated when I first got back 2 months ago, but now I'm TRYING to adapt and right now, NYSC posting is about to mess with that process.
My dear, just go with the flow and learn to ignore the retards. You will be meeting a whole load of them and you really dont need to work yourself up. Just Ignore. Trust me, its not that hard.
Try to have fun my dear. Sometimes these things actually take you on a trip and you end up laughing it off.
The way of life of these 'rich' people is really funny, and the attitude of their 'subordinates' is sad. Since they can't react to their OGA's nastiness, they take it out on the next person.. Jare, e go better.
i respectfully do not agree with most of the things you said here.when i was in nigeria i knew so many people who did charity work and did not expect anything in return.maybe you are speaking of those who you are currently surrounding yourself with but generalizing the situation to all nigerians? . i still do not understand why you are upset that the security guard called you girl...is 'girl' now an insult?
i think you need to change your outlook on things and become more positive.
goodluck oh.
dont get offended that i find this post rather hilarious...relax joo, you'll be just fine...its maybe because you're a lekpa shandy...& before long, the sucker will realise you're not a baby
as for the charity part, am not gonna clamour for anybody to give out an unplanned part of of his profit for a course he's not especially interested in...he/she should jejely enjoy the fruit of their labour...some of the people out there that give to all them registered charities & thing only do so, so as to attract reduced tax
eventually when i start my charity/NGO, you'll forward me the names of these people you need to have their minds changed about giving *wink*
Before I had the chance to travel out, I hate most of the things that happen in Nigeria and how wrong mentality prevailed. That was even before I had the chance to travel, now that I have being to more than 10 countries, including some African countries, I still see that we have more issues to deal with. I was always correcting including Okada men for calling me "girl" to my face. In fact the "aburo' thing is very annoying! Here I am in Mali - not that I like being called Madam - but young or old pple who knows not my name will use "madam" and this is the same me that gets to be called "this girl" in my own country.
There are pple that are into charity but it seems not to be a culture in Nigeria yet and the number is low. I ranted when Mike Adenuga spent millions to bury his mum, I ranted again when Dangote gave his daughter an open check for her wedding. I ranted because these big men can devote portions of their money to charity. Adenuga can spend all that millions to do something in his mother's memory...
I have said it that we have leadership issue but we have to deal with our own very mentality to be able to move forward. I travelled by road to Nigeria from Mali in June and as soon as we got to Nigerian border, the difference was clear. There where loud pple and rude pple everywhere. We got to Lagos and come and see screaming and talking down on pple!
I don't hate my country but things are not looking like they are changing. When I got a 2 bedroom flat of my own b4 my wedding, I was subjected to all sort of ridicule cuz they were wondering why a woman shd get her own space and not thru a man. WTF! My fiance came to live with me and you want to try the insult from the landlord? When we got married and moved, the agents were only respecting my contributions to the discussion of a house cuz my hubby was there. They dont give a damn even if the money came from my purse! And to add salt to injury they wrote Mr. and Mrs (hubby's full name)! I challenged this and was told that is how they do their things! WTF again.
Here in Mali, I got a 2 bedroom flat by myself and the owner was only interested in regular payment of his rent and not my gender. Can you see the difference? Mali is 98% muslim and we are so much more religious in Nigeria or so we claim. I can go on and on.
All we can do is hope thing will change and we have to be the architect of the change we seek as well.
All the best my lady. You are a tough lady and I know your dreams will come true.
(forgive typos if any)
Is your other blog functional? Can't locate it again
Like Baroque, I find this post a bit funny. Maybe because I'm used to all that aburo thing and all.
Anyways, its a matter of time, you'll get to understand more, and perhapts, fit in nicely.
Ah! StandTall, you made me think I was on your blog..
I guess it would take a while for anyone to get used to the way of life in Nigeria. Don't let it get you down, the only way is up! looking forward to the birth!
Had to look around to be sure I was at the right place. Babe chill you hear? Nigerian men are very chauvinistic to women, no matter old, young, rich, or poor. Don't worry, you'll make it soon.
kpele. you would soon get used to this our place jare. have a wonderful stay
I totally agree with Stand-Tall's comment...The mentality down here is totally on another level.
It is only a matter of time, the fallen soldier rises from ashes to glory.
All the best.
'Lara
Calm down lady! Save your energy for useful events. My attitude really is I-don't-a-shit! The so called 'girl' of yesterday will be your boss tomorrow just continue the shitty subservient ne'er-do-well attitude.
All da best
Awwwww, Tigress! Pele gan ni. I had to laugh at all the rantings though you may not be finding them at all funny but girl that is Naija for you but like most other bloggers said, you will adjust and you just do your own thing. Ignore the haters and mediocres. You'll be fine,i'm positive.
Hey breathe easy...just keep a positive outlook on things-and don't let things get to you-not worth the trouble. Instead focus,focus,FOCUS!
I pray you get to give borth to those dreams and goals soon.
All the best.
I'm a bonafide member of TeamTigeress and you will definitely testify loruko Jesu...no be today I don sabi say our society get crase no be small...
What the seemingly well to do fail to realise is that there's nothing they have that they haven't received...people can be so short sighted it irks me!
Now that was a rant :-) BB why did you hurt Tigeress???
Having the opportunity to see people of other cultures, I can understand what you are talking about. However, your statement "Nigerians (based in Naija) have the most messed up mentality ever" is really generalized that it makes some of us who have lived in Nigeria all our lives a bit slighted (no offense dear)
I have actually heard someone say that married women are the ones that deserve respect but I brushed it off as words from people who are not "exposed".
Hope you've settled in fully. Have you hooked up with any bloggers yet?
lol@ LG. Its been a minute i've had someone shout 1st on my blog.
Naijalines- glad u found it hilarious- that was the intentions.
Mamuje- abeg free me jo. did i not clearly say i know we are not all like dat. Anyway, my blackberry has packed up so pls email me.
NaijaBabe- u spoke well and that is all one can do with their ignorant asses.
Leggy, sweety- calling a woman a girl is insulting. i do not know what world u come from. it is condescending. Wehn u get to my age and feel glad u being called a girl- thats ur choice. any grown ass woman in any part of the world will tell u calling a man a boy or a woman a girl is wrong. Find out why white slave owners called the slaves boy/girl.
Baroque- glad u too found it funny. Even though i was ranting- i also hoped folks wld find it hilarious. As for charity- thats a whole different type of schooling all together. Its not only in the form of giving financially but in the form of time etc. But i was even targetting companies and not individuals. And i'm sorry- but from the
SHE- that for stopping by. That whole Aburo shii- i can not adapt. I wont lie. I can adjust to Naija life- but i'm ready to cut off anyone who calls me Aburo. Thats just me.
Scarlet- Amen to what u've said! We shall all make it in this land.
jobsfornaija- muchos gracias. I know i'll adjust- just a matter of time. But i don tire already. :)
MyneW- yeh i noticed that. And i guess i've have adjust/accept that as well?
Afrigenic- I guess i came to Naija with expectations. Unrealistic ones. That being Naija one wld be treated better than one was in a white man's country. So i guess i'm rather disappointed that one faces a lot more bs here and the backward mentality is frustrating/depressing/upsetting.
L-Ron- thanks!:)
L- LU- lol!! Thank u jare. Are u new on blogspot? Dont think i've come across ur blog- then again i've been MIA for a long minute.
Blogoratti- thanks me dear :)
Mizchif- AMEN O!!! gracias!
NoLimit- woohoo! I've got someone who's on my side. Good feeling. Thank u o! I shall come back and testify. lol
Rita- who be BB? My dear as a Nigerian who is now based here- i feel i'm entitled to talk about what i see. As i said i know not all nigerians are like that- but a large number are. Take it or leave it- its the truth!
Imagine with my longest comment like making another post on your blog, Standy does not get a reply?
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