Help me out here blogsville- read Bible passage below. Does this mean as women we have no say nor are we entitled to a mind of our own? Are we meant to treat our husbands as though they are God- as a Saviour? WTeF, saviour of what?!!!! dying for my sins? Yes, wives repect your husbands but does that mean husband do not need to respect their wives? Obviously men have flown with this passage: wives sumbit to your husbands (we hear it all the time)....so clearly husbands do not submit to their wives-right? So since the passage only talks about men loving their wives does that also mean we as women do not have to love our husbands? Cos men get to be Lord over us, a Saviour, get submission, and respect. What do we women get- just love? Should men then have the rights to demand love from us?
Now i see why Doc (Doc vs. The Debate. Repudiate) goes on the way he does. My question then is- why are a lot of us desperate to get married? I reckon any husband that really sticks to this passage can not marry a 29 year old woman like myself who is kinda set in a her own ways. He should marry a woman straight from her father's house who is yet to form her own personality/ indepence and therefore doesn't know better and can be moulded by her husband. Cos mehn, i am big on respect- it should be given to everybody both male, female, young and old. I can't be a stay-at-home mum cos my husband demands it. I can't deal with a man who seizes my car keys like i'm a little girl becos i've pissed him off. Nor can i deal with a man who talks down at me in front of people- we all need some self esteem- no man has the right to rob me of that.
Anywayz, story story, i can rant on as much as i want- this is the Word of God, and may the reading of His Word be blessed.
Ephesians 5:22-33 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[b] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
26 comments:
im first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think alot of people have mis interpreted the bible and made it suitable for them. Because God says as women we should submit to our husband doesnt take away our own personality, views and opinions. Its all about compromise. I believe respect goes both ways. All these men that hammer on this passage and take it for granted stop only after the wives verses, if u study them, do they agree with " 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."?????
They r the ones who treat their women as they like cuz in their defence, its their right.
A man that does not respect me is not worth having me respect him......... my 2 cents
im kinda a novice to all things relationship and marriage-but i do believe that love is respect, and respect is love. its a given.
chichi.
I said it now..they only read the first part and start shouting. Anyone that says the submit bulshit again..send them to me..i'll lecture the hell out of them. Damn i am beginnig to sound like those feminist that burn bras and don't shave their armpits...god forbid!!!
Anyway Madam Tigress you know what i mean
yes i went to All souls church bodija
Tigress...what are you starting with this post? this is like my pet topic... Im 26 and whenever I hear that verse I want to slap someone because normally the men who refer to this passage treat their wives like slaves. They use the passage to enable their stupidity...like Funms says do they even go down to the rest of the passage and adhere to the loving their wives...nxa...
Lol @ "this is word of God and may the reading of His word be blessed". I haven't heard that in years. Wait, I heard it at a church I visited like 4 weeks ago.
Anyways, if you read verse 25, then jump to 28 and 29, it tells you what husbands need to do. Maybe the guys don't bother reading past verse 22 but the work is cut out for both parties.
I'm not a fan of stay at home mum either, waste of education. Seizing keys is definitely dumb and stupid and so is talking down in public.
All I can say is everyone needs to open their freaking eyes before they seal it with that ring. Yeah, people can change after marriage but I believe people don't change overnight. People just choose ignore warning bells that rang months or years ago.
I don't even know if I'm making sense anymore, this class is giving me a headache.
the passage if understood properly makes sense,love i take it is in the context of Corinthians 12 (or is it 13). Which says things like love is not boastful, arrogant or proud, so it shouldnt be difficult for a woman to submit to a man as he will be wanting whats best for her and should not be boastful, bossy, controlling blah blah blah
ladies, ladies,ladies... although i aint married yet...i realise that the bible has usually been interpreted according to the reader, individuals usually take bits and pieces of verses that suit them without reading everything in context...
only guys who have low self worth would want you to submit to them unconditionally...
as long as the lady doesnt become bossy because she has everything she needs...cause respect is mutual
Misinterpretation is what it is, there are those people that see the bible as furthering their own agendas. When if they read it properly they might understand the passage.
Femi B, your last name sounds familiar from All Souls. I doubt you'll know me though. I think I was at All Souls like 91 - 93
a lot of people dont read the whole passage. it say, "husbands love ur wives as you love God. To love God, you have to respect him, and to love your wife, you have to respect her too. They work together.
Most of the time, guys misinterprete this passage. God would not tell us to do somthing that would hurt, so i bet that its just men(some) in all their arrogance that decide to interprete it wrong.
The way I see it, If your husband loves you like he loves Christ and the Church, he will want the best for you as well as the marriage, meaning- he won't go against your thoughts and choices unless there is a valid reason.
And if you have a man showering you with pure unadulterated love, submission is the last thing on your mind.
By LOVE I don't mean just the physical affection, I mean the total package.....SO don't fret girl your man will match what you intend for you life.
submission suggests giving up your authority to another and this may seem hard or suggest some form of slavery but all in all...God detests pride. We as true believers have submitted ourselves to him, he has made us humble. However we still have our flesh which is weak and then the thought of how hard all these instructions are keeps haunting our thoughts but this is the lie of the enemy. The bible was written by different people but then its all sown together as a beautiful piece. Even here, on one hand we have women submitting to their husbands...but do you know that love is everything?...Love bears all things! and men are to love us as themselves! thats awesome. Its difficult from both sides, Because of our flesh we dont like the term 'submit' to them (men) as christ gan! You'll think thats a bit too much. But this is why it is important as well for you to marry someone who is in christ because you will see him as God's image afterall we were created in his likeness and image. No doubt we all fall short of his glory and we are not in any position to point fingers.
Trust me darling a girl coming her father's house in this age we are in does not even count lol...you should hear amazing storiesssss...
How did we submit to christ? we believed. Some preacher said men are babies and we must keep it behind our heads that they'll grow. She said we should see the king in them and not the fool they can be. What you dish out is what you get. Its really easier to say though, but in everything we all need God's help.
Men who are to love us...Love, comes with respect. Love conquers all. Love has been abused (as in the word) thats why we have crazy things running through our minds when we read stuff like this. The world is crazy n crazy things are happening.
xx
Hey Funms! :) No.1, yes u r! lol
Femi- waow- i wouldnt have recognized if i saw you in person. how r ur sisters doing?
Kookie- speak out! :):)
Miss DM, Tank, Toluwa, Sirius, Bondgirl, Miss love i reckon these men do not comprehend the depth of loving their wife- if they did- they won't go on and on about their issues of independent women (whatever that is) and women wiping their arse. Nigerian men just use this verse as a reason for their stupor. Even tho most men are a bit backward thinking- not all are like that.
Invisible, u're the only man who has left a comment here- get ur fellow male bloggers to share their opinion.
It's interesting that you were thinking my thoughts exactly. I already knew everyone in the class thought I was a wretched sinner for challenging the bible/a man of God anyways. When the pastor was hamering the 'respect/honor your hussband' part, I asked him why it was okay for us to respect the men. I mean doesn't respect begett (?) Anyways, this was how he explained it: He said (and gave examples in the bible) that the nature of men, is such that they value respect over love unlike the woman. He explained it kinda like this. Women require the man to love them as love, for the most part, comes naturally for the woman. He said that if we respect our husbands, then the husband will love us. Vice versa the love part (If men love their wives, respect will come from the woman). I didn't wanna keep playing devil's advocate, so I stopped questioning him here. I wish I had gotten a better explanation :-(
Sorry for the long comment*
I firmly agree with you that MOST NIGERIAN men are sadly so backward in their thinking with regards to funtionalism of the family- as in women roles...and bla bla...Its so sad!!!!!!!! it is quite aggravating! lol
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Submission to your husband doesn't necessarily rob you of your own ideas, thoughts and persona... I think the passage is referring to meekness, a patient and submissive humbleness. If the man must love as he is loved, then he also inherently submits to his wife.
Intriguing post...
xoxo
If we were to take this scripture on surface value then we would say that only men are charged to love their wives. Now if you go to 1st Cor 13 and read what loves means then there is a no way a man who loves you as the bible expects will treat you the way you fear you may be treated. As for women respecting and submitting to their husbands I believe this is an essential ingredient for any marriage to work.
One must ask for understanding from God when reading his words. Being a stay at home mum these days is not advisable because of the economic climate. If a husband then insists that his wife be a stay at home mum then he doesn't really love her in the true way the bible has asked him. Also a woman who respects and submits to her husband will meet him half way and perhaps choose to work part time.
All things will definitely work for good if we followed the bible but then we will be talking about ideal situations and from my experience in this life, there is no ideal situation. However we must try our best to be better people. God help us all.
I have to tell you that me and my fiance are 10 years apart...he is 28 and well...you know (^_^)
have fun with him.....
What more evidence do u need dat God is male?
Ehm...Fineboy, the writers of the bible are males not God...
The Bible is often misconstrued because we tend to forget the context in which it was written. That scripture was written during a time men and women couldnt even sit in the same aisle in church. People often forget the part that mentions men out to love their wives the way Christ loved the church. And how did Christ love? By being a servant.
Men and women ought to submit to and serve each other. That is my belief anyways!
Hmmm.........
i didnt take the time to read through all the comments, so i dont know if someone has already said this.
I used to take issue with that passage and men who hid behind it. I considered them weak. I still do. But I've learned to appreciate the commandment for what it is
Women, submit to you husbands. Men, love your wives. That is the same commandment as far as I'm concerned. Love is submission.
The Message Bible says it better than I ever could:
Eph 5:
21Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.
22-24Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
25-28Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage.
29-33No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That's how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh." This is a huge mystery, and I don't pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.
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